Fuck I hate being fat. Today it hit home as I pulled on my stretchy pants for work cause I couldn't stand to have my jeans dig into my stomach again. Time to face facts that I need to buy a bigger size, something I swore would never happen again. Last August I managed to get down to 162 lbs. Mind you I was on a stress leave from work and exercising like a mofo. So many things are swirling around in my head lately. My son, who is amazing, but I fear suffering from my marital breakdown. He's angry a lot and eating lots of crap, he's behind in school. I feel like I'm failing in all aspects of life. My anxiety gets really bad when I think of too many things at once, so I've made a to-do list today and will try to get things done in chunks so to speak. I have a one hour massage later and chiro, hopefully my back will feel some sort of reliefe. Also, my scale showed it's highest number in a long ass time last week. This morning it said 176. Yup, it's going down but still not enough.
I plan to walk on my lunch break as I may not have time later.
If you stumbled upon this blog somehow lol, it's not going to be all rainbows and glitter. Just another fat girl documenting her crazy life and struggle to lose weight. That's all.
I saw your post on Norma's blog and decided to come visit. To answer your question that book is her bible so she recommends it 100%. I am guessing your a new reader to her as she talks about the book often. I hope that your feeling better about yourself now as compared to two months ago. Let me know if you start actively blogging and I will be here to support you! :)
ReplyDeleteI saw your post on McGee's blog and followed it here. I feel that I could have written the above post (minus the marital part as I am remarried and the prior fallout happened 10+ years ago. And I have four kids.)
ReplyDeleteI struggle daily with nagging worries, and I find that overeating is a drug-like coping mechanism; I don't have a big weight problem, I realize, but it's a little problem to me. I have other stress-coping crutches (not drugs/alcohol or the usual, but bad habits - think hair-pulling but that's not really it.) Anyway, I wanted to let you know you are not the only one with swirling multiple worries. I learned in a mental health setting that it is, indeed, a good idea to set small goals and make short lists and attack them, then give yourself credit.